Saturday, 29 January 2011

National, write a post with a lisp, day

It'th been awhile thince I pothted of my caffeine-abthtinence, the 21tht Augutht 2010, to be precithe, tho I thought it about time I gave a quickie update.


Thince Augutht I've given up alcohol too which, along with thothe other viceth and pleathureth that theemingly have given me up, it leaveth bithcuitth (without chocolate of courthe) ath one of my few remaining indulgenceth. Tho...


You'd be excuthed for thinking I've become a twitching wreck, thporting the haunted look of a man bereft of thenthual delightth, but think again. I'm actually all the better for it (thee photo above - really jutht an excuthe to thhow off my new jacket).


Ath promithed by the "thcientithtth", laying off caffeine hath made me calmer, leth prone, ath they thay, "to exaggerating my emotional rethpontheth", but the betht outcome hath to be from thlinging the booze into touch.


Counter-intuitively (how many people claim drink helpth them thleep?), teetotalithm hath enabled me to thleep all night through, inthtead of the uthual 3 to 4 tholid hourth followed by an abrupt awakening and fitful thleep thereafter. Strangely though, I dream a lot more than I uthed to (or ith it that I remember them thethe dayth?). Ith there'th a Jungian in the houthe?


It'th an improvement, though I'm far from claiming to be a different perthon. I like to think I'm the thame perthon but with thome of the rough edgeth removed.


Hmm... what elthe can I give up? Swearing perhapth? Nah, fuck that for a game of tholdiers!


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Coming soon: National, writing a post while one's testicles are slowly but progressively squeezed tighter and tighter in a vice, day


Excerpt...


Along with my dislike of nice as a... eeeurrgh... description of myself, I'm equally... aaahhh... perturbed to hear the phrase applied, "he's as good as... OH MY FUCKING GOD.. gold!". Take my word, men described thus are... jesus christ.. put upon sad victims of the belief (inculcated during childhood) that women... NO, NO, NO, NO... are not only the fairer, gentler sex, but... eeeeeeeek! are by sole virtue of their gender, to be... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!... pedestalised (my word) too. Of course... nyeeeeeeeegh!... the truth... aaarrrggghhh!... is, they're not fairer or gentler, so to be set upon a plinth... PLEASE GOD, I SWEAR, I'LL BE GOOD... oooooooaaaaahhh!... they ought to at least merit the position, but of course... OH NO... the damage... SHIIIIIIIIIIIT... is done, and the hapless wretches are preyed upon... (to be continued)


8 comments:

Michelle said...

Thith hath got to be the thillieth thing I've ever theen!

But I'm happy for you.. about the caffeine thing.. itth thuper!

Ronald said...

Thankth Michelle, thath really thomething coming from the queen of thilly. I With you great thuccetth with your pending job application. Hugth.

Michelle said...

thankth :)

actually it seems as if I got it...

plootraf.. the only way that could be funnier ith if it wath pothible to lithp it :)

Sari said...

That'th ├╝ber-thilly! You are a mathter of thillineth. Jethuth, it took me ageth to read thith :)

Being a big fan of balls, I'm looking forward to the National, writing a post while one's testicles are slowly but progressively squeezed tighter and tighter in a vice, day :)

Autch :)

Ronald said...

Sari I look forward to seeing more of your creatively adorned dangling orbs :-)

Michelle You think you have the job? Great. Look out for me on one of your first tours. If I do Prague this Spring I'll be looking out for you. Will you be wearing a silly hat? :-)

PAMO said...

I was just thinking about you today and wondering when you would post again. Psychic and nice, I am.

I say nice a lot- and honestly, I think it's passive-aggressive on my part. I won't go into it further because my head is in a vice.

I gave up nicotine in 1993, alcohol in 1994 and coffee (about 12 cups or more per day) in 2009. Recently, I've given up sugar in it's candy form. With each substance I give up, I feel much better. MUCH BETTER... but my addictive personality always finds something to take it's place.

But this isn't really about me, is it? Stop the damn lisping.

(Glad you posted. I've been jonesing.)

Maundering mutterer said...

Thutch a thmart jacket! Your thartorial thtyle ith imprethive. Not sure if the lisp suits you, though. FEED ME SUBSTANCES!

Ronald said...

PAMO Thowwy. I'll twy to enunciate pwoperly in future :-)

MM Thanks for the compliment, it was an impulse buy. I felt the soft leather and just had to have it. Seems I've changed, it always used to be gadgets, never clothes!

The lisp was just my way of making a dull post a little different. I will give myself 7/10 for effort :-)

By the way, I'm so glad things are looking brighter for you. Have a hug!