Sunday, 21 November 2010

The Unbearable Bollocks of Being (first published circa 2007)

Wouldn't it be nice if for once, those interminable studies concerning the effects of alcohol consumption concluded that, best of all for the promotion of long life and well-being is the consumption of, west-country murky green rot-gut scrumpy, complete with dubious floaty bits, and possessing a kick like a mule on steroids? How nice would that be? But no, whenever the results are presented, wine, always comes out favourably relative to the rest.

And did you know, it's claimed that plants prefer classical music to all other genres? It's true. According to research, it's the only music to have a significant effect on the subjects, inasmuch as, it's alleged they're inclined to lean in towards the source of the sound. Whoop-de-doo! Conclusive? Hardly. When I'm listening to the radio I often move towards the source, but only to change stations or switch it off if what I'm hearing is not to my liking. And I used to attend classical concerts and not once did I notice myself or other members of the audience stooping forward towards the orchestra. Au contraire, more in evidence was the occurrence of a tilt left or right towards the aisle in readiness for the bar-rush during the interval.

Do you think because science and research is populated in the main by the middle-classes or middle-class aspirants they have the unconscious agenda of validating and elevating their own lifestyle?

Hmmm...

10 comments:

Michelle said...

Yes.

More specifically, maybe, and on top of that, it mighn't necessarily them wanting to validate their actual tastes, but wishing to validate the tastes they like to present themselves as having, and that they want to present to the world that they have these tastes, and sure they'll admit that they like a bit of pop, and some beers (imported ones obvs) but if not always, quite often they're in the mood for a merlot and some Bach, or whatever them wines and classical dudes are called...

maybe..

Not saying they (whoever they may be) don't genuinely like that stuff.. just sayin they might be slightly distorting the proportions of how much they like that stuff in comparison to other stuff.

Some of them. Possibly.

As for the plants. Well.. perhaps they're just more classy than us humans.

Sari said...

Absolutely, except that I don't think there's anything unconscious about their agendas. They just do as they are told by those above them who pay and benefit from the researches.

Flowers, however, are essentially tarts, prostitutes for the bees. Uncle Monty knew that too. So perhaps it's no wonder that they like classical. Personally I always thought it's the vibration that plants like. They would though, little tarts ;)

My dog is no snob, he likes all genres of music, but prefers anything high-pitched, and he loves ice-cream tunes and Star Trek soundtrack, amongst others. He doesn't exactly lean towards the source of the sound, but he can only sing right in front of the speakers (or the ice-cream van). Go figure.

Ronald said...

Michelle You're right I suspect. Some people I'm sure will start with perhaps no particular preferences, but adopt those that they feel are "right and proper" for the culture or sub-culture they feel they belong or aspire to.

Sari I never knew you were such a conspiracy theorist! And for the benefit of the other readers, I'll mention that "Uncle Monty" is a character from the film, "Withnail and I". Am I right?

Sari said...

Yup, right you are. IMHO there's no other film that would come anywhere close. Not everyone's cup of tea though.

As for the conspiracy theories, well, I take everything I read in the 'news' with a pinch of salt. I doubt everything and believe nothing. Goes for lots of things actually, not just for the 'news'.

PAMO said...

Sari, did you realize a pinch of salt actually contributes to paranoid thoughts and delusional attitudes?
It's true- I read it in a study. The study was conducted by the Pepper Institute, but I'm sure their ongoing feud with the Salt Institute had absolutely no bearings on the findings.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have a glass of wine and some classical music waiting. Oh- and chocolate. Apparently, it combats dementia.

Sari said...

Thanks PAMO, I don't believe a word, but you knew that already, didn't you? ;)

lancelonie said...

Nice thought.

For alcohol consumption, I couldn't relate 'coz I don't drink. :)

For classically inclined plants, that's so interesting! I wonder if babies try to lean to classic music, too. As for me, I'm leaning towards my computer monitor to read these cool facts... :)

Have a good one, Ronald!

Ronald said...

Lancelonie Nice to see you back. I thought I'd offended you. In my experience, babies are susceptible to all kinds of music. I'm sure I remember my own children, when very young, rocking to the beat of a song. :-)

Maundering mutterer said...

Interestingly, there was a study done at some or other university. Three greenhouses were given different types of music and one was silent. The result was that the classical AND heavy metal greenhouses did better than the other two. Its mildly amusing, but I'd still like to know a few things before I regard it as meaningful research. I want to see the temperature ranges for each house. I want to know if light penetration of the cladding was the same. I want to know how they made all the other growth factors such as water, humidity and nutrition exactly the same in each. I doubt I'd get satisfactory answers. You can prove anything you like through research, except possibly that pigs can fly.

Ronald said...

MM What a great comment and good to see you displaying your scientific acumen. As an inveterate skeptic myself, I can't argue with you there.