Sunday, 1 August 2010


I don’t think Science has all the answers. There are some things I’m sure, scientific methodology will never explain; indeed, it’s based on the erroneous dualism of inanimate and animate objects. But all perceptive persons know the Universe is alive, whether at molecular or planetary level. Take the days of the week for instance, they have personalities. Yes, you may scoff, but it's true; take the other week for example, a Thursday.

I knew from the off it was “different”. As I entered the station car park, I noticed there were few spaces occupied. The train too was pleasantly spacious, allowing the spreading of one's legs, and imbuing one with the substantial feeling of “impending weekend”. And if you should think, "so what? What's the big deal, it's just one of those days!", let me tell you, the office gave off a similar air. My colleagues too were of a lightened disposition, usually seen on Fridays and Christmas Eve only. How much more evidence do you require?

Well, I can telll you, I was livid. I’m not a stick-in-the-mud, and I like a practical joke as much as the next man, but this was a jape too far. For the working man or woman, some things are inviolable, never to be tampered with, and the “feel” of the day is one of those. I was damn convinced it was Friday. It looked and felt as much. So imagine my despair when after a brief conversation with a colleague, I realised I'd been fooled. Why was Thursday doing this to me? Why was “the day” taking the piss so? Had I in some way offended it? Maybe I’d inadvertently walked upon the cracks in the pavement? Walked under a ladder? Or perhaps, whistled on a Tuesday? I guess I'll never know.

Talking of objects hitherto thought of as inanimate, did you know mirrors are alive too? This is true. And some of them are truly beastly. I’m thinking in particular of the mirrors in department stores... oh how horrid they make me look. Thank goodness for the “toilet mirror” at my place of work - she’s my buddy (mirrors have gender too, you know) and is so kind to me... gives a more realistic portrayal... takes years off me.

I refuse to talk about the weather, that schizoid, malevolent, demon....


Michelle said...

Well. Um. I think that's happened to me a few times. I think. Oh I said that already.

Anyway welcome back.. I see the fruit bat has been resurrected! Though I'm sure it can be rationally explained.

Ronald said...

It's all against me I tell you, all of it... [twitches, wrings hands, and looks around, as if expecting an attack]

Michelle said...


I'm sure it will be ok.

For a while.